Can I go back in Time?

Tags

old school, prince charming, twenty first century

Lately I’ve been thinking.

Maybe I am the problem.

Or maybe I am not. I am not so sure anymore.

Looking for Prince Charming in this new world might just be a very tall dream.

But that is okay. At least I can still dream.

If you are not a prince, maybe you could be charming at least.

If you are not charming, maybe you could be courteous at least.

If you are not courteous maybe you could try to respect women.

Maybe I’m a little old fashioned or just plain cold.

The term “ice princess” has been used to describe me one too many times.

So I guess it must be true.

But I still think before you expect any warmth from me.

You should be ready to earn it.

I am sorry 21^st century guys but:

1. I will not meet you for the first time in your house after we have only spoken for some minutes on bbm chat.
2. I will not give you a hug or hold your hand on the streets on a first date or if we are not in a relationship. Keep your hands to yourself.
3. I will not allow you to call me “baby” one day after meeting you.
4. I will not send you a picture of how I look today or what I a wearing when we are not even dating.
5. I will not come to your house, not come to your house, not come to your house, I can say it  million times over  for a first date or a second or even a third. I am not scared you will rape me or try anything funny. It’s not just done that way.
6. I will not cook for you in your house or in mine when we are not even dating yet.
7. Do not ask me to “take you out”. Even if it is a joke. It is so not cool.
8. Do not tell me your financial troubles and how you lost a lot of money ”just last year” on a first date. I don’t want to hear it.
9. Do not expect me to call you every day. I will not. You are the one doing the chasing. Please do the calling as well.
10. Do not take me to a sit-out to drink beer with your friends that I do not know on a first date. It is so not cool. And if I bend the rules and go with you, do not insist I drink alcohol. I do not like the taste and I am not pretending to be a good girl.

I’m sure you are thinking “this one is too stiff”. I have no apologies.

That is just the way I was created and I feel trapped in this century.

 

YOUR TOWN

I am in your town again this week.

The town you grew up in.

Every time I step into this town, I always have nostalgic feelings.

Feelings born out of the stories you told about growing up in this town.

Stories told in the quiet of the night, with me in your arms.

Most times I’m listening, forming images in my head of the places and people you talk about.

Other times, I just fall asleep, listening to your voice.

I see people and places as the driver takes me round the town.

And every so often, I see a place that triggers the memory of a story, with a vivid picture in my head of how it happened. Though I wasn’t there but images are formed and etched in my memory as the words roll out of you. Images,  born from my imagination.

I see the school you went to and I imagine you walking through the gates.

I see the place your mum worked in and I imagine you dropping by after school to wait for her.

I sort of love this town, with its valleys and plateaus.

I love the cold here. I love that the town has birthed a lot of talents.

I love the people too and it feels good to be here again

Though time may pass and my life will go on without you in it,

I will always remember you when I step into this town, YOUR TOWN.

 

 

 

When your best friend jumps the broom.

Tags

best friend, Ibadan, marriage

That Friday saw me lounging in my bed, Engrossed in my new found love: the movie series “Suits”.

I had taken the day off from work with the excuse that my cousin was getting married.( I thought saying my friend which was the truth didn’t sound serious enough to ask for a day off).

I could have gone to work that Friday and still made it to Ibadan where the wedding was taking place   since my fight was for noon but why take half day off when I can take a full one? After all anything worth doing is worth doing well.

I was enjoying every bit of my morning, Lost in the world of Harvey Specter, Mike Ross and the Pearson and Hardman Law firm. I felt really good.

But I still had to get up from my bed and head out to start my weekend away from Abuja.

My bestie, my paddy, my BFF, Bisi, was getting married.

I was really happy and excited since it was something we both wished and prayed about together

I cannot precisely remember how we met or became friends. We both worked as interns together in the same organization and we both kind of kicked off as friends at some point. Then we were in the same NYSC Camp as well that, I think was when our friendship was cemented.

I was in the ancient city four hours later. it was beautiful. There were throngs of people on the streets, walking, buying, and selling. There were just people everywhere. Looking at the city from the flyover on my way to my friend’s house, I was reminded of a painting I once saw as a child. I cannot remember where I saw it but it must have been somewhere I frequented a lot since I can remember looking at it for long periods of time at different occasions. The painting was called Ibadan city. It showed millions of houses with zinc roofing and I always wondered how so many houses could be clustered around each other. I guess the artist didn’t lie. Ibadan was just like the painting from by view looking down from the bridge.

Before I got to the house I made a mental note of two things:

1. To genuflect when I was greeting any elderly person especially Bisi’s parents.
2. To prepare my mind for large doses of Yoruba speaking even when I  don’t understand what is being said.

Bisi and I have a mutual friend Tayo who is Yoruba as well and when the three of us are together one of them always unconsciously slips into Yoruba forgetting that I don’t understand a word of the language. This usually happens in the middle of narrating a “hot” gist.(According to them English does not do justice to some words especially when a person is describing an emotion. Well I wouldn’t know). It can be annoying so I made a mental note to tolerate this since Tayo was going to be there.

Anyway when I got to Bisi’s house, Tayo had not arrived yet. She was going to be in Ibadan the next day-Saturday. So I had Bisi to myself for Friday (Selfish me, but three they say, is a crowd).

The most memorable part of the whole trip for me was that evening.

Bisi and I went to take a peek at the venue for the Saturday event that evening.

Just the two of us.

It was in “Mapo hall”. The place is beautiful by the way and I learnt it has been there since 1932. The electricity was out when we got there so we borrowed a flashlight from the security guard and did a quick sweep of the decoration and seat arrangements inside. It was perfect and ready for the big day.

We had to wait for Bisi brother to come pick us up so we sat on the stone steps of Mapo hall in the dark and waited.

We stared at the stars in the sky then Bisi said to me: I can’t believe I’m getting married tomorrow!!! . We both laughed and we talked and talked and talked into the night.

We talked about our exes and about the days we cried over heartbreaks and broken relationships.

We talked about the year we both turned twenty six and realized we were no longer below 25 and still young. She called me on her birthday  of that year feeling down but she ended the call in high spirits all thanks to me!.

We talked about the month we passed out from NYSC and realized there was no uniform to shield us from real life anymore. That we could no longer hide behind “I’m a Corper”. That we had to get real jobs and  good ones at that.

The times we went for events together, shopping together on Saturdays, Shawarma and Coke together at drumsticks.

Indomie noodles garnished with fired eggs and fried plantain plus the obligatory Viju milk in  NYSC Camp together.

Her days off at work spent in my office gisting about everything and everybody.

I realized I might not get to do these things with my friend again at least I know it can never be the same. There was a third person in the picture now and even though we will still remain friends, it will be a different kind of friendship.

My friend was getting hooked to the man of her dreams and a part of our friendship had come to an end.

As we sat on those stone steps that night I realized I will miss this friendship.

From now on it will be ‘my husband said this”, “my husband did that”.

That is what happens when your best friend jumps the broom!

 

 

PS: I was a proper Yoruba girl throughout the weekend and knelt down as a sign of respect to elders at the slightest opportunity. It was fun!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nostalgia

I was watching this movie,

Of cos it had Romance and love in it.

I could feel the love these two people have for each other

I can imagine how it feels like easily because I’ve been there.

I have loved and have been loved before.

I feel  Nostalgic.

I remember that feeling of knowing there is only this one person for you in the whole wide world.

That feeling of contentment and of peace

That feeling that your heart has found its resting place.

That feeling that no matter what comes your way you can handle it as long as you are with that special someone.

That feeling of wholeness.

That’s what I remembered that day and that feeling I won’t ever forget.

And until I find it again I won’t settle for less

I won’t compromise,

I will not manage.

Because until I feel that way again, only then will I be truly happy, truly whole and truly ME.

For the Heart that’s meant to love me.

Tags

abuja, brandy, future, heart, missing piece, say you will, south south boy, twins, wishful

On Independence Day, a friend sent me a video clip that touched me and I had to send it to a couple of my friends I felt needed to hear it.

It was a guy saying:

Smile, because you are beautiful and let nobody tell you otherwise.

The thing I learnt about life is that most people are going to see your flaws and not your beauty: it’s sad but then it’s true.

You may not be perfect to most people but you will always be perfect for the heart that God has for you.

You have to understand that there has to be someone, somewhere at sometime that is going to find something wrong with you but the something wrong that they find, is nothing but the something right for the heart that is searching for you.

You might be too big or too small in their eyes but you are the perfect size for the heart that’s meant to love you.

You might be too shy or too outgoing but you have got the right personality for the heart that is meant to love you.

The first step to being unhappy in life is trying to please everybody else. People have different tastes but never let those differences make you insecure about who you really are.

There will always be something about you that is not right to a person that is not right for you.

Your flaws are perfect for the heart that is meant to love you.

 

It got me thinking about something I wrote a while ago for the heart that’s meant to love me so I dug it up and decided to share. I have not met that heart that’s meant to love me yet or  maybe I have but  not realized it yet. I must admit sometimes I have thought about bending the rules or rather changing some things about me to suit the kind of woman I think a man would want.  Changing bad habits for the better is good but changing who you really are is going the wrong way.

So for the heart that is meant to love me, this one is for you. It has mostly what I want you to be and little glimpses of my personality.

My darling I just can’t wait for you to come. I’m like a puzzle waiting for my missing piece.

I’ve got so much love stored up waiting for you.

I want to meet you in a very unassuming way. I want you to catch me unawares so I won’t be self conscious when we meet.

I want you to meet the real me. Not the “me prepping up myself for a potential date”.

I want you to persist and persevere even when I push you off with my”Don’t come near me attitude”.

I want you to be my friend; I want you to make me laugh. I want my heart to leap every time I see you.

I want to walk into a room with you and be proud to be the one in your arms.

I want to be able to look up to you, run to you for advice, for guidance   and for strength in trying times.

I want to be able to see you as my hero, my knight in shining armour, my rock.

I want to be able to share every side of me with you: The mischievous girl in me, the deep serious side of me and the mushy, emotional side of me.

I want to dedicate Brandy’s “Say you will” to you on our wedding day and sing Beyonce and P.Diddy’s “summer time” to you for our one year anniversary.

I want you to be a bad cook so I can blow your mind away with my cooking.

I want you to have OCD (small sha!) to complement my clumsy ways.

I want you to love kids just the way I do. I want to have twins with you: Two beautiful identical girls.

I want you to love to play with words like I do.

I want you to respect me as a person and as a woman and most importantly I want to share the love of God with you.

I want to wake up every morning beside you and thank God you are the one I’m with.

I want to be able to love you as many times as I come back in life for every lifetime.

 

For the crazy, silly wishful ones:

I want you to be tall and good looking.

To speak and write impeccable English

To live and work in Abuja so I can stay close to my family.

To have great taste in fashion

To be smart, intelligent, bold and courageous

To be self confident and adventurous.

To thrill me with little surprises every now and then.

To woo me and try your damndest to win my heart.

And the silliest of them all: to be a correct South-South boy. *wink*.