For the greater part of my life, I’ve always felt this connection to God.
It’s not something I can explain.
I can remember walking to school in my college days, from my house which was just a few blocks away and talking to God every morning.
It was always quiet on that road as there were few houses around. I would stare down at the grasses by the side of the road and I’d just feel God’s presence all around and we will talk, about everything.
That short walk was when I connected to HIM on a daily basis, bared my fears and found peace in trusting him.
Since then I just told God what I wanted and He would always do it. I never doubted him even in the face of obstacles and so my life went on smoothly
But between me and HIM there was my Achilles heel: the subject of the man I was going to spend eternity with, the heart that was meant to love me. Every time I prayed about it I always doubted.
There was always this niggling fear at the back of my mind: what if HE doesn’t do it?
I have never admitted this though, even to myself. I always swept it into that corner of my mind where I keep things I don’t have the courage to face.
I was speaking to my friend about the said subject matter since that is all we ever talk about anyway and she told me how she has put everything into God ‘s hands and wasn’t worrying anymore when it hit me smack in the face.
Maybe that is why HE hasn’t done it. Because HE is waiting until I believe HE can. I know HE is proud like that.
I could believe He can do anything without blinking but why couldn’t I trust Him with that single thing? I wonder?
I will get there Lord. Just be a little bit more patient with me.
On the other hand, recently I see myself turning into a different kind of woman from what I used to be.
I am being molded, shaped, redesigned, reset, refined and fine tuned in a way that I couldn’t have imagined I’d be .
Changes are happening fast and its not something I can explain either.
I’m just a new person.
I have no idea what the finished product will look like but I know its going to be good.
I am still work in progress.
The only thing I an sure of and can definitely find the words to describe is the way I’ve been feeling lately.
I feel contentment, I feel at peace with everything and everyone around me.
And above all just plain HAPPY.
Of cos being human, I get the occasional lows but ninety eight percent of the time I am HAPPY.
Happy with my life, happy with my job, Grateful for my family and my friends
Happy that I’ m blessed!.