Maybe if I write it down it will go away
That’s what is said to myself last night, after I typed that message to you and deleted it the next second without sending.
I was fighting the urge to contact you and I got a taste of what it takes to resist temptation.
My saving grace came in the form of sleep. Oh sweet, blessed, reliable sleep that takes everything away (even though temporarily).
Sleep saved me last night. I don’t know about today. But I guess I’ll just take it one second at a time.
Now I know what addicts go through during rehabilitation. Yes addicts, because I’m one and my addiction is you.
I’m trying to cure this addiction the hard way and I the only way I can think of.
I was on my own living my life in peace when you came out of nowhere and liked all my photos on instagram, followed me on twitter and sent a friend request on facebook. I thought it was a lot of effort to get my attention so I decided to let you in on BBM when you asked.
Since then talking to you has been the highlight of my day. My real vacation,away from work as I didn’t get to have a real one. We moved seamlessly into phone calls, facetime and skype and went through everyday together even though you lived miles away in Bayelsa.
I opened up and took a loooong drag of you and I’ve been in seventh heaven ever since.
One dose first thing in the morning, another dose last thing at night and a lot more in between.
I felt like I had found my own specially made square hole (this square peg’s been hitting too many round holes lately).
Remember that night we were talking and you told me the reason you were single is because the girl you liked lived far away in Lagos and long distance isn’t your thing?
I said to myself: what the heck are you doing talking to me then?
I don’t know which one hurt the most: the fact that there was a girl you liked or that you weren’t into long distance relationships. I was dazed for a second after you said that them a lump started to grow in my throat, it got so big I had to run to the bathroom to cry because my mum was in my room watching TV.
That is when I made the decision to quit you.
It’s been 3 days since I took you off my BBM list with the excuse that my phone had issues and I feel like hell.
I’ve been a junkie fighting the urge to call you every since. I need a fix right now. But I’ll pass.
You have my number and can call whenever. I’m still trying to find the strength to ignore those calls.
I hope to get there soon.
Right now I’m in rehab and it sucks, I’m having withdrawal symptoms but I’ll be fine soon.