FIRE

Tags

FIRE, love

I knew you were trouble when I first set eyes on you
I knew I was playing with fire the first time I felt the butterflies flutter
Call it gut feeling,
Whatever,
I just knew.
But I choose to ignore the warning bells ringing in my head
I followed the flurry feeling in my chest.
Well I guess I didn’t have a choice in the matter.
The glow from the fire caught my eye and that cautious side of me said: STAY AWAY!!
But the incurable romantic in me just wouldn’t listen
I was drawn
Like moth to flame
Happily I danced round the fire
The warm glow melted my frozen heart and unleashed the core of me
Then I touched the fire……

The fire was home,
The fire was sweet
The fire was my sounding board and my solace
Dance I did
All around the fire for days and for nights
Until I got burnt.
Then my heart stopped.

Someone once told me “burning is not the only thing fire does”
Yea right!
I know that now,
I saw it, I felt it, I lived it
Fire does a whole lot of good stuff but guess what?

IT BURNS!!!

It will burn you so bad you can’t sleep
Hurt you so bad you can’t breathe
Cook you, roast you, steam you and grill you till you don’t know who you are anymore
When you look in the mirror you see a stranger,
When you talk you hear a stranger’s voice
The heat from the fire will bring out all the water inside of you
We call them TEARS.

Yesterday

Yesterday I saw a picture of a letter on instagram and I looked away. 

I couldn’t bear to look.

Yesterday I was going to read a love story I had been saving for weeks but I couldn’t 

I was saving it for yesterday when I could settle down and read it with a bowl of pop corn and a cup of banana smoothie.

I barely got past the first paragraph

I want to hate love .

I want to say “never again”

I want to close this side of me

I want to lay the poet to rest

But I know I probably can’t.

Or maybe I can? 

Something tells me it’s the heart of me

Something tells me I cannot deny the incurable romantic inside

She’ll just pop up when I least expect it

Whatever that something inside of me thinks, doesn’t matter now

The fact is: there is a hole in my heart right now

I cannot bear to read a love  story.

 I cannot bear to look at or read a letter 

Any letter

I don’t even feel like writing anymore 

There is a constant pain in the middle of my palm

The tears  spill in public places when I don’t want them to.

It feels like I’ve been falling from a height since last teusday.

I still haven’t  hit rock bottom

But hey ,

One day, yesterday will be last year