You don’t Know

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Photo Credit: Openclipart.org

 

 

You don’t know

How much I love to see your face light up with a smile

That smile that makes you lose ten years off your age

You don’t know how much I can blow you away with my kisses, with my cooking

You don’t know how proud I feel walking beside you

That it feels so natural to slip my hand in yours in public even when I hate PDAs

You don’t know how normal it feels when we communicate with our eyes in a room full of people

You don’t know that I never throw tantrums

That I am usually very controlled, rational and mostly nonchalant.

You don’t know.

 

 

Daddy

I love you Daddy

For being there for me always 

For giving me the best of you

For always knowing when I need you

For always sensing when things aren’t right with me

Thank you because I know you will give your last blood for me

Thank you for being you

Selfless, kind, compassionate

For showing me how to persevere in difficult times

Showing me how to let the stress roll off my shoulders 

Showing me how to be a reliable and dependable person

Showing me how to take every responsibility assigned to me seriously

For loving , for always guiding 

Thank you for giving me the confidence to make my own choices and standing by me even when I make the wrong ones 

Thank you for knowing those things I cannot tell you

Thank you for making me know no matter what I do, your arms are always welcoming, always open.

Wait!

Baby Girl before you open that door,

Think…

Wait…….

And then wait a little longer

Listen to your heart

Listen to your instincts 

They never fail you, have never failed you.

Before you let down your guard,

Before you let them see you

You know you, the romantic 

You the comic

Wait.

The intellect they can get for free

The comic if you really like them, 

But the romantic you gotta wait.

She might be too strong for them to handle

Too much to take in

Bullshit!  forget that !

She is you 

Not everyone deserves her

Pat her, wrap her, keep her , bound her if you must

But do not let them see her

Because she is everything that you are

The core of your being 

The place where the wells rest

When she is out the intellect dies

She is that part I wish remained locked away forever 

She is that part that hurts always

That part that makes the center of your palm hurt.

Tingles

love-hearts-silhouette-imageImage credit: silhouettesfree.com

The way you make me feel,

It’s like tingles in my spine.

The way you make me feel,

It’s like fire in my soul

The way you make me feel,

like the most beautiful woman in the world

The way you make me feel,

is like I’m home

I could let you hold me and rub my back

Just stay here for eternity and I would just be content

The way you make me feel is special and its true.

Sustainability Plan

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Photo Credit: juneletters.com

 

Sustainability plan ! Hmm.
Never taught I would write that in my blog, but as I sit here listening to this presentation on sustainability and transition plan when the donors move out, when the country has to take over, I ponder and I realize I can relate.

Love needs a sustainability plan.

Love is like a plant and it needs to feed to survive. It cannot be sustained without food.

What happens when there is only one source of food? When that source is cut off what does it survive on?
It is long distance and you make all the efforts . You do all the calling. You initiate all the texting. And the other party? Seems to be fine either way:If you are there that is fine , if not then that’s okay too.

It is totally discouraging and like I like to say “love is not enough“. Worse still, one sided love is not enough.

Love is meant to be reciprocal. It’s meant to be two sided to work.

If it is one sided.? It will happen but I can bet my life it will not survive through time .
It will die.
No matter how long that one side tries to hold on to it, the bitter truth is that it is not sustainable.
It will surely die.
Those people that said “together we stand, divided we fall”, did not lie . All those stories about a single broom stick and the whole bunch , about where two or three are gathered were not just mere stringing of words together or for want of fancy words.

That is why a boat moves faster with two people rowing at different ends of the boat.

The fact that the other party is making an effort is motivation enough to continue to make yours. That is the drive that keeps you going especially when the going gets bad.

It’s the life boat you hold on to when the ship is sinking.

It’s the tube of oxygen when there is no air,

To sustain long distance , you need a sustainability plan. You need a life line.

You need a willing partner.

A dedicated one.

Let Me

Baby let me love you
Fill up that hole inside of you

With buckets of love. 

I’ll be there for you 

Through the good and the bad 

Through stormy weathers

Through sunshine and rain

I’ll rub your back like I know you like

Let my lashes caress your cheek every night

Like it did last night

Last Night

Last night I dreamt of you.

It’s one of those dreams that are so vivid, so real  I know the feelings from that dream  will remain etched in my memory a long time.

In that dream, I saw you, I felt you, I smelt you. You were real and you were you: untrusting, faraway, wary.

I’m trying to catch a picture or should I say a scene from that dream right now but for some reason, it eludes me.

I know it’s there, buried deep somewhere. it will resurface when I am not expecting it to, snippets popping up in my mind at odd times.

These feelings are here though, deep inside of me. it feels like I just saw you.

I am going through the motions of the day  and every once in a while my heart misses a beat and then I stop to wonder why and then it comes in flashes before the eyes of my heart.I remember you and my heart twists and then my eyes water.

Some days I think I am better then I scroll through the pictures on my phone and I see you, I see us, I see the smile on my face and then I remember the way I felt that day

Like I could take on the world, that as long as I was with you everything was alright with the world, with me, with you, with us.

Like I would stand by you through thick and thin and as long as you would let me.

Last night I dreamt of you, this morning I listen to Beyoncé’s ” Dreaming” and like she would say “I feel like I’m alive”.

 

dreaming

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I thought 

I thought I was okay until I heard him say your name

I thought I was doing just fine until I heard your voice on the other end
I thought I had this all wrapped up and tucked away
Nice and tidy
Then he had to mention you, ruffling the seemingly perfect surface I painted.
Suppressed emotions spilled out, like a dam
Gushing out with a force that threw me off balance
All because I thought……
I thought I was stronger until I caught a glimpse of your shirt peeking out of my closet and I felt something squeeze my insides.
All the prep talking
All the tough girl facade.
All those things don’t matter now.
I feel lost without you….