Frog

Tags

fairytale, frog prince, love, relationship

 

 Photo credit: http://www.trybooking.com

 

I have kissed a lot of frogs

Always left a trail of slime behind.

Green patches everywhere….

Each time I washed the slime and let it pass.

 

I have kissed too many frogs

Left enough space for them to hop around and play

With a long rope that stretched for miles and miles.

 

I have kissed one too many frogs

Smiled while they croaked, did that famous call and the girls came trooping in

Never ran out of lime to clear the slime

Let the bulging eyes rove around

Sat pretty while they spun their lies and lice.

 

I have kissed one too many frogs

but none as ugly as you…. yes YOU

 

Sustainability Plan

Tags

love, relationships, romance

Photo Credit: juneletters.com

 

Sustainability plan ! Hmm.
Never taught I would write that in my blog, but as I sit here listening to this presentation on sustainability and transition plan when the donors move out, when the country has to take over, I ponder and I realize I can relate.

Love needs a sustainability plan.

Love is like a plant and it needs to feed to survive. It cannot be sustained without food.

What happens when there is only one source of food? When that source is cut off what does it survive on?
It is long distance and you make all the efforts . You do all the calling. You initiate all the texting. And the other party? Seems to be fine either way:If you are there that is fine , if not then that’s okay too.

It is totally discouraging and like I like to say “love is not enough“. Worse still, one sided love is not enough.

Love is meant to be reciprocal. It’s meant to be two sided to work.

If it is one sided.? It will happen but I can bet my life it will not survive through time .
It will die.
No matter how long that one side tries to hold on to it, the bitter truth is that it is not sustainable.
It will surely die.
Those people that said “together we stand, divided we fall”, did not lie . All those stories about a single broom stick and the whole bunch , about where two or three are gathered were not just mere stringing of words together or for want of fancy words.

That is why a boat moves faster with two people rowing at different ends of the boat.

The fact that the other party is making an effort is motivation enough to continue to make yours. That is the drive that keeps you going especially when the going gets bad.

It’s the life boat you hold on to when the ship is sinking.

It’s the tube of oxygen when there is no air,

To sustain long distance , you need a sustainability plan. You need a life line.

You need a willing partner.

A dedicated one.

FIRE

Tags

FIRE, love

I knew you were trouble when I first set eyes on you
I knew I was playing with fire the first time I felt the butterflies flutter
Call it gut feeling,
Whatever,
I just knew.
But I choose to ignore the warning bells ringing in my head
I followed the flurry feeling in my chest.
Well I guess I didn’t have a choice in the matter.
The glow from the fire caught my eye and that cautious side of me said: STAY AWAY!!
But the incurable romantic in me just wouldn’t listen
I was drawn
Like moth to flame
Happily I danced round the fire
The warm glow melted my frozen heart and unleashed the core of me
Then I touched the fire……

The fire was home,
The fire was sweet
The fire was my sounding board and my solace
Dance I did
All around the fire for days and for nights
Until I got burnt.
Then my heart stopped.

Someone once told me “burning is not the only thing fire does”
Yea right!
I know that now,
I saw it, I felt it, I lived it
Fire does a whole lot of good stuff but guess what?

IT BURNS!!!

It will burn you so bad you can’t sleep
Hurt you so bad you can’t breathe
Cook you, roast you, steam you and grill you till you don’t know who you are anymore
When you look in the mirror you see a stranger,
When you talk you hear a stranger’s voice
The heat from the fire will bring out all the water inside of you
We call them TEARS.

Story Story II

Tags

crush, dreams, game of thrones, love, wedding

It is two days to the wedding and I still haven’t collected my dress from my designer (they don’t like to be called tailors)

She is not just my designer; she is also family, and knows all about this groom and my feelings. Most people know even my mum.

I didn’t pick any particular design for the dress. I couldn’t care less. I just told her to make something long and comfortable. I keep envisioning the wedding with me in the blue ashebi and in my mind’s eye it’s a sleeveless long dress. Not that I wear sleeveless, (don’t ask me why I see sleeveless in the vision because I do not know).

My phone rings it’s my friend, the groom’s sister she called to tell me she has arrived Bayelsa in preparation for the wedding and wants to find out if I have gotten my dress yet.

I make a mental note to call the tailor, sorry designer. Then I pause for a moment to wonder why she is going through all this trouble to make sure I come for this wedding.

A part of me does not want to go and see him getting married but the  other part that always wants to put a lid on everything says “ Baby girl it’s a must go”. Maybe it will help me move on I conclude.

So I resolve to go.

Fast forward, two days later I am in Bayelsa, it’s the D-day and I’m supposed to help my friend at the reception to make sure everything goes smoothly.

I step into the hall wearing my blue dress. No it’s not sleeveless. It’s a long fitted dress with an elbow length sleeve. I look good in it I think.

I see my friend and we hug briefly while she tells me what she needs me to do: “Make sure the reserved tables are held till the persons they are meant for arrive” and other stuff.

So we set out to do just that along with a couple of other girls who I happen to know.

So I’m sort of busy and I was starting to think I was doing well, almost giving myself a mental pat on the back.

Then I hear the MC announce it’s time to usher in the bride and the groom.

That’s when it hit me.

I was standing close to the aisle when I heard this. I said to myself “Girl you got to sit down for this “I didn’t trust myself enough to stand there and watch them dance by so I find a sit in a corner, trying to force down the tears that suddenly threatened to spill.

And in they walked, and guess what? The bride is not far from the person I saw in my dream. How weird can that be?

I cannot beat my chest and say it’s the same face,  I can’t remember the face in my dream vividly but I know she was not far from it. The same physique, the same complexion.

They are dancing and I’ smiling but my heart is bleeding. Then I say to myself. “Shey you will rest now abi?”

Its officially over, signed and sealed.

So I muster all the courage inside of me and set about doing my business. Making sure everything goes like clockwork. I really love doing this so it comes effortlessly for me. Soon I am lost in the organizing frenzy, oblivious of what is going on with the wedding party.

I was still watching over the last reserved table when this guy comes from nowhere and ushers in three people to the table! “The table is reserved” I say giving him a look that could have scared Khal Drogo (Game of thrones).

He wasn’t scared one bit. He was about to respond when my friend’s husband comes to his rescue. Telling me the seats were actually reserved for them. I move on to other stuff.

The rest of the day passes in a blur with no real drama.

Party over and the groom gives his vote of thanks. I am ready to leave but I need to do one more thing.

He needs to know I am here. So I try to catch his eye from where I am standing, hoping to just wave at him before I leave. I keep staring but he is not looking my way. The bride is.

She is staring at me from where she is sitting and she knows I am trying to catch his eye and is probably wondering who I was.

So I just wait till the final prayers were said. Then I moved. I don’t know where the courage came from but I’m strong like that and I like to confront my fears head on. I wanted it to sink into the incurable romantic the fact that this book was closed.

I walk up to where they are sitting. He sees me, he smiles and we hug and he tells her: “This is my very good friend”. She is smiling at me but I think the smiles don’t reach her eyes. (could be my imagination).

Mission accomplished, I head back to my hotel mentally praising myself for being so brave. I have work to do so I don’t have time to think when I get to my room.

But by bed time, with no distractions it hit me! He just got married and it wasn’t me.

I feel bitter. Then again I feel ashamed of myself for feeling that way over the happiest day of someone else’s life.

So I just cry a little. Then I put three pillows over my head and I force myself to sleep. I am exhausted from the day’s activities so sleep comes easy.

I wake up early and I don’t feel any better so I cry some more. I get up to blow my nose and I look in the mirror and I just feel sorry for myself the more I look ugly when I cry. ( LOL).

So I’m alone in the hotel room and I wish there was something to distract me.

I need to talk to someone desperately so I call my friend and He tells me  I’ll be fine and its okay for me to cry. I have round of crying and feel better afterwards.

Three hours later my phone rings and it’s my friend calling to thank me for helping out. Then she says: You were wonderful yesterday; we’ve all been talking about you there is someone here that’s been tripping for you since yesterday. We are coming over to your hotel now.

I say: Huh?

Story Story

Tags

dreams, flat mate, love, taylor swift, tear drops in my guitar

We are flat mates in a two bedroom flat. I don’t know what your room looks like, I didn’t go in there. My room is small but cozy. It has a big bed. The bed has a beautiful rich dark brown wooden headboard with intricate designs woven it it. The walls are very pale pink color, so pale you could almost mistake it for white.  The sheets are white just like I like them and tightly tucked into the corners of the bed creating a creaseless surface that will make you want to like on it immediately you see it.

For some reason I do not sleep in my room. I sleep on the couch in the sitting room. The couch is facing the door leading to the bedroom; a good spot to sit and watch visitors flock to your room. I watch as relative after relative comes to visit you and your fiancée living in the next room. Your mum comes, your Dad comes, your sister comes, and some women come. I don’t know who they are probably your fiancée’s aunties or yours. I get my own share of visitors too. My mum visits, my sister and her daughter: my niece is there too. She is four years old and she is sitting down on the couch with me sipping on a pack of Capri’sone.  Then she pops one of those questions directed at her mother that leaves my sister clueless for a minute about how to answer a four year old. She pauses for a second and decides to respond with a lie. That seems to satisfy my curious niece but makes my mother frown and give my sister the warning look that says “ don’t lie to my grandchild”. My sister shrugs and the conversation between us continues.  I am telling her about my flat mate’s upcoming wedding and how only a moment ago, feeling the need to urinate I walk into the bathroom forgetting to knock and I barge into you doing your business.  You look up alarmed and apologize, My face flushes with hot embarrassment and I retreat as fast as I can (No he was not naked!  He was wearing a boxer and a white vest). It was funny when I was recounting the incident to my sister but at that moment it was happening, it wasn’t.

Your sister walks in and we hug. Though older, she is my friend. We do a little chit chat and we talk about you and the soon to be Mrs.  We talk about you some more how kind you are, how you love kids and then I tell her the only shortcoming I see in you si that you are too laid back, not a go getter (that’s how I think you didn’t get enough courage to come get me). She says: “Can you do me favor and share this weakness of my brothers’ with his fiancée? (In my mind my eyes are rolling and I’m screaming: No way!!!)  I just smile and say I think she already knows that if she is going to marry him.( weird conversation I know).

She asks me to accompany her and we go to your fiancées office. I didn’t hesitate to go because I was curious; I wanted to see the lucky girl that got what I wanted so badly. To asses her, check her out, look her over, what’s she got?  Her desk is on the third floor. We got there and to my disappointment she is not on seat. Strangely her Dad is. He is sitting waiting for her. We do not wait  we head back down the stairs the way we came and I notice she works in the same bank as my friend Lola. Lola is in internal audit and moves round different branches. I make a mental note to ask Lola if she knew her in a bid to get more  scoop on this girl.

We are in the first floor and I am staring at the inscription of the bank’s name on the wall on the first floor   when I hear footsteps coming up the stairs.  I look down and there she is coming up the stairs with her hands full of files. Don’t ask me how I know it was her, I just knew.  She is not tall, she is petite, light skinned and pretty. I try to swallow the lump that that suddenly forms in my throat. I want to hate her but I cannot. It’s not just in my nature. I remember tailor swift’s “tear drops in my guitar”. The part where she goes like “ I’ll bet she’s beautiful, that girl he talks about, and she’s got everything that I have to live without” I force down the tears and try not to blink too much. I read somewhere that that’s how you stop the tears from falling.

Our eyes meet and she smiles that’s the part where I wake up in my room  with the pink and white flowered sheets and my  two tone purple and baby pink colored walls. I reach for my phone and I check the time, its 2:35am. I look across the room at the blue colored fabric sitting on the chair where I left it some six hours before , the ashebi for the wedding which I just collected from his sister yesterday. I sigh.

Looking up I say: God why are you haunting me with these dreams? Isn’t it time it stopped?  I remember the first one 4 years ago in which we were in love and the feelings I had in those dreams were so beautiful   it was painful for me to wake up.  The second one was two years later and right after, the very next day I saw him at a concert and I taught to myself God must be telling me something but then it didn’t happen.

Today it is four years since we first met and Yes He is getting married in a month’s time to another girl, No, we never dated . Yes I told him how I felt and regretted it right after I did. No he is not my flat mate, Yes, his sister is my friend. No I haven’t met the bride yet.

Butterflies

Tags

butterflies, love

One week it’s been and all there was in my heart is turmoil.

I’m an emotional mess now and I just can’t handle it.

It all started like a joke, no not a joke, like just me fooling around.

I’ve always known you, you’ve always been there.

Maybe coming by the house at Christmas with my brother or when there was an event.

I never gave you a second thought.

And then we had to see every day last week  

I guess I took it for granted it was only you and I let my guard down

Poking, teasing and haunting you because you are so quiet.

Then you started talking and I was having the fun of my life.

I was looking forward to talking to you every day.

I’m afraid you have crossed that wall when I wasn’t looking. Or maybe the guard was sleeping that day?

I sleep and I wake up to find you in every corner of my heart

I still cannot fathom how you got here.

I sleep everyday hoping the butterflies will die

But I wake up every morning thinking of you and the butterflies always flutter.

I can’t let them fly and they just won’t die.

 

It’s a struggle and it’s tearing me apart.

God know I’m scared shitless and I don’t know what to do with these feelings.

 

In this Place

Tags

alone, lost, love, relationships, romance

I was only a little girl, scratch that, a young girl when I met you,

What the heck, I was a little girl in my mind.

Young, fresh and clean like you always said.

I stumbled into love and I got drunk on it like it was going out of fashion.

You stole my heart, swept me off my feet.

I couldn’t see anyone else. Nobody was as good as you in my eyes.

And I fell for you hard, loved everything about you.

You fell in love back and it was perfect for a while.

I gave you all the love I had, the kind I fantasized about since when I can remember.

I built my whole world around you.

I built my future around you.

Loved you like there was no tomorrow.

Little did I know it would all come crashing one day.

Now I’m lost in this game of life and I can’t find my feet anymore.

I just can’t do this love thing anymore.

It’s just isn’t right when it’s not you.

I can’t see my future like I used to, it’s distorted without you in the picture.

I’m left to try and put the pieces back together or probably paint a new picture

I know I must but it’s damn hard.

I wish we never happened so I can start on a clean slate.

 

Now I’m in this place, in a daze, I’m alive yet I’m not living,

Empty, lonely and afraid.

Knight and Day

Tags

butterflies, heart break, knight and day, love, relationship

r

photocredit; cliparts.co

I remember the first day that I saw you.

You just moved into the flat next to mine. I knew we had new neighbors, my sister told me.

We never really caught any face we just knew there were a lot of guys in the next flat.

Then one morning there was a knock on our door when I opened, I saw you and that was when I fell.

It was just there, the skip of a heartbeat, butterflies in my stomach, the whole works. Even before you said:  Hi, I’m your new neighbor and I’d like to borrow a boiling ring if you have one.

You just had me at “Hello”.

The always too loud music from your flat brought my sister and I knocking on your door every day; with “Please turn down the volume of your music we are trying to read here”. Easily we found a common ground and weeks later we were dancing to Beyonce’s “ keep giving your love to me” blaring from your flat and spilling  into our room.  Shamelessly my sister and I asked for a repeat of the song.   That was our song, at least in my mind. And I still remember you when I hear that song and I still love the song like crazy.

You were my friend, we always talked and you told me things you never told anyone about you.

I still remember the night we talked till 2am the next day. Just the two of us sitting on the bench outside and watching the moon come out.

I was smitten and everybody saw it, except for you. Until the day one of your friends told you. I’m sure they must have gone like this:” Are you blind? Can’t you see this girl is tripping for you?”

But alas it wasn’t meant to be just because of your one really big flaw: You care too much about people. Always ready to sacrifice.

One of your homeboys had the hots for me which was common knowledge and you just could not be the bad guy and date me while he felt that way about me.

I didn’t want to understand, I didn’t want to see. I was just mad. Mad as hell that you would choose loyalty to a friend over me.

And I never spoke to again after you came to tell me why we couldn’t be.

I went to my little book and wrote this for you, my first of many pieces to come:

Don’t know how It came, can’t tell when I fell, maybe it was there from the first day we met when you said “Hello”.

Now I’m lost in this maze, alone, sad, hurt and depresssed and I wish it was just “hello” and then “goodbye”.

 

It was like that till school was over and you had to move out.

I had my first relationship afterwards , fell in love, had my first kiss , broke up with a couple of guys after that and then  life went on.

Fast forward 6 years later with social media: facebook, mobile phone and twitter inevitably we had to reconnect.

This time it was different. I was different. I was a big girl; I had gone through heartbreaks and relationships not the innocent little girl I used to be.

This time around you were different too. You came on to me heads on.  There were no mincing words: you wanted to date me. But the timing was also different.  I just knew it wouldn’t work and I wrote this for you then.

You and I are as different as night and day.

We both always seem to see the alternate side of things. Me, one way and you the other. Like the picture of an old woman I once saw and I turned it around and saw a young girl.

Yet something still binds us together.

Like two peas in a pod, like a pair of socks, like two ice cubes in a glass. Just like you used to say.

I have visited all the nooks and crannies of my heart and I found you in every groove.

I can only love you one way- selflessly, unconditionally, blindly and wholeheartedly.

We were in different towns and I just knew you were not ready for the things I wanted at the time. We were not in the same place. We were good as friends. And then I wrote this about you in my little book again. I guess I knew it was inevitable but I just kept deceiving myself that I was cool with being your best friend.

Mr. S.

He is my friend, I can talk to him for hours and it will just seem like minutes. I have a special spot for him in my heart no doubt, I know it, and he knows it too. It’s no secret between us. We talk, we laugh, he tells me stuff and I tell him things I never tell anyone, I can tell him almost anything.

Apart from the fact that he stays in another own miles away there are other reasons why we just can’t be.

1. 1.       My feelings for him run deep and I’m not sure I can handle being in a relationship with him. I think I’ll turn into a psycho and just work myself up over nothing when he doesn’t call on time, check up on me, etc. now that we are just friends, all that doesn’t really count.
2. 2.       He is such a nice guy, nice to a fault (at least that’s what I think). I’m thinking he will always put everybody else before me or “us”.
3. 3.       He smokes and I hate that with every fiber of my being.
4. 4.       He is just a boy. I don’t think he wants to grow up just yet and take up responsibilities (not that he isn’t old enough though).

Mr. S. just crossed my mind now and I realized one thing I like about him is that he respects me. He knows me to an extent and I can be me around him. I don’t have to prove anything to him because he knows the real me. I just told my friend today that he never asks anything from me (financially) even when he knows I earn more than he does (at least I think so).

You knew that side of me nobody has seen. The poetic side of me. The only one that had seen my little stash of write ups, when you read incurable romantic you just knew I was referring to me and teased me tirelessly about it. I fell in love with Frank Ocean and Amel Larrieux because of you.

It was a beautiful friendship and I valued it. But you kept on pushing saying I was the only girl you could really talk to and you wanted us to take it to a whole new level. God knows I tried to fight it but you were dangling a carrot and I was a bloody rabbit. I just had to take a bite. I was still struggling with these feelings when I wrote:

We Talk.

It is so easy for me to fall in love with you, Real love, the kind I always fantasized about. I know you might not tick all the boxes for me but I will still love you anyway.

I’m trying to hold back , trying to rein in my emotions least they spill out and I’m not able to gather them back again, mold them, fold them back into that space they have been for a long time.

We talk, we laugh and it always leaves a sweet feeling in my heart afterwards: every time.

I know if I let myself go, if I let down those walls , that will be it, I won’t look back and I won’t give up.

But I have to keep those walls up, for now.

Borrowing the dettol advert slogan: if I don’t take care of my heart, who will?

I told myself this for a while until I couldn’t hold back anymore and decided to be impulsive and take a risk for once in my life, to take the bull by the horn and follow my heart.

What is right? What is wrong I do not know? That is how I feel right now: confused, pained and disheartened. I’m not so sure about a lot of things but the one thing I’m sure of is the way I feel about you: It’s undeniable, it’s rock steady, like the constant “k”.

I know I’m good at scorching hearts and hurting even if I don’t mean to but I thought all that would change once I found the one I loved.

I thought I’d love blindly and too much but it’s all over even before it began.

We haven’t tried, I haven’t tried to love you yet.

I know what I want to do, in my mind I know.

I’m just stalling because before I do anything I need to hear from my father up there.

I need to get His feel on this.

I need the sign from him that says “Go ahead child”.

Then I’d close my eyes to everything else. To my sense of standards or what people will say.

I can do it and that is what I want at the moment.

I’m tired of living by the rules. It never did do me any good anyway.

So I said yes and we made it official. That is when everything changed.

I don’t know what happened. I just can’t explain it. I guess it was because the four reasons l listed in Mr. S. Anyway it did.  All I can remember is when you told me I should not wait for you, that when I meet someone that is ready to settle down I should go with him. It hurt, it really did. You were ready to let me go just like that? Without an effort without lifting finger.

Who the hell told you I wasn’t ready to wait for you till eternity. I could have waited my whole life if you wanted. I could have given up anything for you. I loved you that much. But when you said that you just broke my heart but I never let you see. I just braved up and said: ‘’sure no problem’’. I was breaking up inside.

Things just went from bad to worse and as usual I ran to my book for solace.

I still cannot feel you. You are with me but at the same time not here. You don’t believe in “us”.

It is hard for me to keep on believing when do not have that faith in it.

It kind of feels empty when we talk now. We scratch the surface not wanting to get deep and personal.

It’s all good, it’s okay. My instincts never fail me and its telling me you don’t dig this at least I’m sure you are not ready to fight to keep it, not even fight, strive, make an effort.

Oh well, what do I know anyway?

It was really bad I won’t lie. I was hurting a long time and I couldn’t even let anyone see. The only time I could be sane was at work when I had a million things to do. At bed time, alone with my thoughts is when I feel it the most. That’s when my world seems dark and dreary. I did not just loose a relationship, I lost my friend and that’s the hardest to bear. I missed my friend but I had to move on.

 I finally buried that secret, premature, nipped in the bud almost-relationship with;

One day you will realize no one could have loved you like I did. One day you will realize you could have fought to have me be yours forever.

I was ready to take chances, damning all consequences, ready to stand by you, for your dreams and aspirations.

Loved you for who you are, with all the imperfections that came with you.

It was all for nothing, so don’t blame me when I had to wrap in my overflowing emotions and fold them, tuck them back in place, where they belong, at least for now.

Till when I find the one who is worth releasing them for. I’m not giving up yet I still believe he is somewhere out there and I won’t compromise just yet.

 

WAR!

Tags

love, relationships

There is a war

Like in any typical war there are two sides

But this time around its not two countries or two tribes or even two religious sects, it’s just two organs of the human body:

The almighty ever mushy sentimental heart of an incurable romantic and the sensible, careful, logical, rational head of a woman.

That’s how I feel most times when I’m on the verge of  a relationship with someone I know doesn’t cut it(that’s my head talking) but my heart beats for.

You know you’ll most likely end up with a broken heart but something just keeps pulling you.

You can’t explain it. Every sensible fiber in your body says: RUN!

But like we all know the forbidden has a certain pull to it.

Just like stolen kisses are the sweetest.

 

Below is something I wrote when I was in that state.

And you can guess who won!

 

 

WAR

I’m in this struggle for my heart.

I think there might be a pit in front of me.

I’ve guarded my heart for so long I don’t think I can remember how it feels to let go

But I feel the grip loosening,

I can tell my heart is slipping away from me.

I’m struggling to hold on to it.

God knows I’m trying.

But I feel like I can see a moving train and I’m running headlong into it

There is always a thud on my chest. When I realize it’s slipping and I want to panic.

I’m afraid for myself.

What will become of me?

Where will I run to? Where will I hide for comfort when the train hits me?

I partly want to just let go and plunge into whatever it is and partly want to hold back and protect my fragile heart.

It’s a raging war and one winner must emerge: My head or my heart.

Whatever it is I hope I do the right thing.

 

 

Young pure innocent sweet love

Tags

americanah, book worm, chimamanda Adichie, high school sweet heart, ifemelu, love, nerd, obinze, young love

I was waiting for my flight at the airport reading and savoring Chimamanda Adichie’s  “Americanah” . I got lost in Obinze and Ifemelu’s  high school love and I thought to my self if I could turn back the hands of time, I’d have a high school(secondary school) sweetheart to share pure , innocent, undiluted love with.

Then I was the proverbial nerd, geek, bookworm, call it whatever, that was me. Don’t get me wrong I had major crushes on a couple of guys , major ones at that, that lasted years (story for another day). but I never acted on them and if any one of them had asked me out it would have been a flat outright “No” because then I told myself I wasn’t going to date anyone because I felt there was no way I was going to end up marrying any of them, so what’s the point?

That opinion seemed sensible for a teenager.  In fact too sensible. Now I wish I did date a couple of guys then.

Maybe It would  have prepared me for the ones I met later in life.

When I was ready to date, I was a full-on complete novice at it (Still am)

Reading Ifemelu and Obinze’s teenage love in this amazing book by Chimamanda Adichie makes me yearn for years long lost , for what I could have experienced; young pure undiluted love. they are always the sweetest. they are born from innocent minds and as far as I know now are the truest kind of love.

To look on the brighter side of it . I might have ended up pregnant as a teen or even worse dead at the hands of a quack abortionist.

Got to run back to my book. starting to feel like a weirdo, writing on a piece of envelope I found in my back (for lack of paper) in the waiting area of the airport.

 

XoXo

 

IR.